Friday Fatuousity

More mindless fun from the folks who brought you Warm Toilet Seats! Okay, folk, i.e. moi, yo, me.

HORAAAAAAAAY ME!!

For your daily dose of self-confidence, try this page. Its nothing but Sean Connery's voice saying "you're the man now dog" over and over and over and over and over and over and over...immensely inspiring yet infinitely irritating...


For THE LATEST in hip-hop fashion, check this out, direct from the Health section of CNN.com. The "Jimmie Hats" brand of condom is due to be released early next year, and will come in two frizzy-frizesh sizes, the Great Dane (XL for you Magnum users), and the Rottweiler (for you average Joes). When you slap one o' these pups on, don't be surprised if you hear your lady whisper huskily, "you're the man now dog." In fact, insist upon it - I know I do, and 1 out of every 29 times, she actually does! Really! [ed: not really]


How 'bout this for a headline: Lightning strikes woman's tongue stud. Money passage:

"Becky Nyang, 26, was temporarily blinded, unable to talk and badly blistered by the bolt of electricity that surged through her body via the piercing...A flash of lightning bounced off a nearby archway and hit her in the face, where it was conducted by the metal jewellery in her tongue. "

OUCH. Yet another thing to add to the list of reasons NOT to get your tongue pierced - risk of infection/hitting a nerve, swelling, a big ass metal ball clanking around in your mouth, tell my why again you'd do this to yourself??? Oh, wait, its a sex thing. Or is it a self mutilation thing? Comments? Roomie?


This one barely made it; a cheesy, cluttered "bizarre news" site, but it does have some coolly bizarre upcoming holidays which I suspect are fake...did you know that today is National Cheer Up the Lonely Day??? Or that tomorrow is National Pecan Pie Day? My favorite is Monday, July 14th, otherwise known as National Nude Day...Hear that, K?


And as always, Bartcop is funny as hell. Or rather hella funny, if you're from NorCal. (Atown for life, foo!)


-tn

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